We all know consistency is important, right? Whether we’re trying to improve our diet, build better habits, or master an instrument, showing up over and over is the path to success – or at least to seeing results. In a perfect world, we’d all be able to do the essential things each and every day, ticking items off the list in consistent, productive bliss until we’ve self-optimized our way to the promised land…
But the world isn’t perfect, and neither are we.
We get sick or injured. Our families need help. Our interests and priorities change. Things beyond our control eat up attention. We get distracted (for better or worse) by some other new challenge or goal that feels more urgent than the things we’re already doing…
If you’re like me, with an array of interests and sometimes overwhelmed by their component parts, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to remain consistent with every last thing.
AND THAT’S OKAY.
At the risk of wandering into paradox territory (which is what we’re all doing all the time anyway), I wanted to share some recent thoughts about the variability of consistency, or at least some new ways of thinking about this stuff that helps me stay on track AND give myself some grace when things go unattended.
Seasons
Here in the midwest, the seasons are pretty obvious. The weather changes, the leaves fall, the snow melts, and eventually, glorious summer returns. These shifts are less apparent in other parts of the world, but the cycles persist nonetheless.
We also use this term “season” to talk about a sports schedule or television series, and the core meaning isn’t that different – oscillating periods of different priorites.
Sometimes the team is training, sometimes they’re playing games, and sometimes they’re on vacation. To make a series, the creators split it into “seasons” because we, the audience, need digestible story arcs – and the makers need to time write, shoot, edit, etc.
So why not apply this metaphorical idea to better understanding our lives?
There will be periods of growth and periods of stagnation, times of creative output and times of incubation… Internal drive may wax and wane based on countless factors, but if we allow ourselves to see these stretches of time as inevitably changing seasons, we’re less likely to freak out during the dry spells.
From another perspective, we also go through seasons that don’t necessarily come back around… We have whole chunks of our lives that build friendships or skills, other chunks gaining world experience, others for career development, and on and on. We carry those things with us, and don’t have to return to them in some cycle for these parts of us to remain important, even central, to who we are.
The same can be true for what you’re going through right now… It’s a season, and seasons eventually change.
Good or bad, impermanance is the way of the world.
That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try to stay consistent with the activities and values we find important, but instead accept that they may ultimately evolve into other activities, values, needs, or whatever.
There are no guarantees about how long seasons will last or what may cause them to change – but if we know that the bad things won’t last, and that the good things tend to evolve, then we can double down on what we need to do RIGHT NOW instead of thinking that today is a reflection of our entire lives.
And how do we know what to do?
Reasons
We all do things automatically, without direct intention or guided by rational thought. Brains are goofy like that, but fortunately we have the other side of behavior to lean on too. In fact, a good portion of the internal battle is between our inclinations to be “lazy,” indulgent, sedentary, or self-destructive and our competing desires to be creative, productive, healthy, etc.
Both of those modes of behavior have their place (to a degree – and probably not self-destruction), and will likely come and go in the “seasons” discussed above… But within the realm of our control, perhaps the best way to find consistency within these seasons is the mighty question: WHY?
This is reminiscent of the famous Nietzsche quote, “He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.”
Instead of thinking about bearing a “how,” I’m more interested in seeking a strong “why.”
If you have a bunch of creative ideas to get out, that’s a pretty good reason to spend the time and energy required for ouput. If you’re up against a skill gap preventing from making what you want to make, that’s a good reason to focus your time in the practice room or on further education.
Similarly, if you’re feeling burnt out, that’s a good reason to rest, reconnect with yourself, and investigate what led you to this point. If you’re unmotivated, there’s a “why” in there too – and to get past it, the actions at hand are tied to understanding or identifying barriers. If you’re struggling financially, that deserves your time. If your relationships need work, put your energy there. If you feel fired up about a new pursuit, chase it!
We can’t do all the things all the time, but we can ask ourselves important, guiding questions about what deserves our limited resources in the here and now… Then build consistency accordingly for as long as necessary.
When the “why” feels powerful, that’s a good time to lean on it – and when it doesn’t, that’s the time to look inward for answers.
Our driving reasons will evolve too, but as long as we’re constantly (and yes, consistently) asking ourselves why we want what we want, why we’re behaving how we behave, and letting the answers guide how spend our energy, we’ll be on the right track.
Even if that means we can’t get to everything each day, the things we leave behind will be there again when the seasons change.